Thank you for listening to “Returning for Christmas.” If you have any comments, concerns or praise, please call, email or text Casey Toner at ctoner@gmail.com or (773) 957-2068.
Please be ready, drink in hand, to share in a toast at the end of the album. Oh, and for more information about the juice wars referenced in “Christmas Day Juice Factory Arson,” please read this article.
STREAM THE ALBUM (9 minutes, 52 seconds)
Tracklist
- Introduction (ft. Brian Riggins on vocals)
- Christmas Day Juice War Arson
- A Christmas Interlude
- C’mon Everybody (It’s Christmas Time) (ft. Eddie “Shredder” McMenamin on guitar)
All songs written and recorded by Casey Toner on bass guitar, electric guitar and piano. Mike Molaro assisted with the piano arrangement for “Christmas Day Juice War Arson”
Lyrics
Introduction MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR A VISIT FROM THE GHOSTS OF PAST PRESENT AND FUTURE THE CAROLERS ARE SINGING TOY SOLDIERS ARE DRUMMING THE JINGLE BELLS ARE ROCKING AND I’M DOING THE SANTA DANCE I'M DOING THE SANTA DANCE I'M DOING THE SANTA DANCE I’M DOING THE SANTA DANCE I’M DOING THE SANTA DANCE I’M DOING THE SANTA DANCE
Christmas Day Juice Factory Arson Its 4 am On Christmas In Cicero, Illinois 1974 Two men and one boy Try to settle a score With the man who cost them hundreds a week or more They were victims of the juice war They paid with their lives They burned up the store Gasoline poured out Of the tanker on the floor That gas fumes are flammable Was unaccounted for Flames burned For hours at a time The building destroyed Two people inside In the walled city of the syndicate The juice wars beckoned The powder keg was lit 170 miles away In Battle Creek Michigan A man showed up from Cicero With burns covering his skin His wife said He lit a fire in their garage Cleaning car parts with gasoline at 4 am While smoking a cigar But only one explosion was reported In Cicero that Christmas Day The fire at the juice factory Where his boss' body lay
A Christmas Interlude OH HI. CASEY HERE. THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO MY HOLIDAY RECORD. I HAVE SOME INSTRUCTION FOR THE NEXT SONG BUT FIRST LET’S RECAP. WE STARTED OUT WITH A POSITIVE JAM. LOTS OF BIG CHORUSES AND GUITAR RIFFS BLAH BLAH BLAH. IT ROCKS, WHATEVER THE NEXT SONG WAS ABOUT THIS WEIRD HISTORICAL FOOTNOTE I LEARNED ABOUT THIS PAST YEAR: THE JUICE WARS. IN THE 1970s, CHICAGO JUICE FACTORY OWNERS DEPLOYED MOB VIOLENCE AGAINST EACH OTHER TO GAIN CONTROL OF TERRITORY. MY SONG IS ABOUT A REAL LIFE CHRISTMAS DAY JUICE FACTORY ARSON THAT OCCURRED IN 1974. ONE THING I DIDN’T MENTION WAS THAT THE RINGMASTER OF THAT ARSON WAS A CICERO POLICE OFFICER WHO OWNED A RIVAL JUICE BUSINESS. ABSOLUTELY WILD STUFF. NOW BEFORE WE GET TO OUR LAST AND FINAL SONG, A REQUEST: GET YOURSELF A DRINK BECAUSE THERE’S A TOAST IN THE NEXT SONG. EGG NOG, WATER, ORANGE JUICE, SPICED WINE, MR PUBB. GRAB WHATEVER. I’LL BE PATIENT AND WAIT FOR YOUR RETURN IN 50 SECONDS THIS IS THE INTERLUDE DOO DOO DOO THIS IS THE INTERLUDE WHAT ARE YOU DOING? POUR YOURSELF A DRINK YOU’RE GOING TO NEED IT FOR THE NEXT SONG TRUST ME IT’LL BE GOOD TRUST ME IT WILL HAVE BEEN WORTH IT TRUST ME TRUST ME
C'mon Everybody (It's Christmastime) Santas in his workshop Cobbling with the elves Comets chasin’ cupid Reindeer shake their bells C’mon everybody It’s Christmastime C’mon everybody It’s Christmastime C’mon everybody It’s Christmastime Flying from the north pole Toys for boys and girls Cruising on the jet stream Circling round the world C’mon everybody It’s Christmastime C’mon everybody It’s Christmastime C’mon everybody It’s Christmastime Dog’s awake it’s morning Kids fly down the stairs Mom and Dad are tired Grandpa’s in his chair Ripping through the wrapping Paper, string and bows Auntie is drunk off Egg Nog Nutmeg on her nose There’s something about that Christmas Spirit that Fills us up inside The celebration of a baby boy Visited by three Magi Winter solstice Holiday parties Reunions and goodbyes Raise a toast To the ones we love And soon the glass is dry CMON EVERYBODY ITS CHRISTMASTIME CMON EVERYBODY ITS CHRISTMASTIME CMON EVERYBODY ITS CHRISTMASTIME CMON EVERYBODY ITS CHRISTMASTIME Winter solstice Holiday parties Reunions and goodbyes Raise a toast To the ones we love And soon the glass is dry